Orphan Advocate's Blog

It Is All About Family

2011-06-26T17:17:00.002-04:00

This morning I had the honor to participate in the ultimate meaning of Orphan Ministry. It is all about FAMILY.

Over 3 years ago I had the privilege of welcoming my new daughter, Alison, into my earthly FAMILY. At the end of months of waiting, uncountable forms and certifications, and lots of prayer we finally met our new child. She was 9 years old then and very child like. She had no idea of what a FAMILY meant or what it was like to be part of one. Mother, father, sisters, aunts, uncles, unconditional love, her own bedroom, a single family house, and her own clothes. Over the last 3 years she has grown into a teenager. She loves to talk with her sisters and nieces. Even in the times of anger and tantrums, she learned we would love her no matter what.

With my FAMILY she was also introduced immediately to her church FAMILY. A church FAMILY was a new concept for her. There were no churches where she came from. She found that there were others who loved her too. Youth groups, singing, choir, friends, and “big church” which wasn’t always that exciting to her. Many prayed for her even before they had met her.

In both her earthly FAMILY and church FAMILY, Alison learned about Jesus. Last week she wrote a note during church. This time it was OK. She gave her mother a note saying she wanted to be baptized. It has been an exciting week as I talked with her as did others. A child like and saving faith. So this morning I had the honor of baptizing Alison into God’s FAMILY. She is now a child of God!

An earthly FAMILY. A church FAMILY. God’s FAMILY. That is what Orphan Ministry is all about.

Who Defines Christmas?

2010-12-24T15:01:00.002-05:00

When my wife told me Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol brought Christmas back to England, I really didn’t know what she was talking about. Wasn’t Christmas already celebrated in England when it was published in 1843? I had to research it. In 1647 England’s parliament banned Christmas because they felt that Christmas was too materialistic and promoted unholy things. There is much more to the story, but by the 1820’s the holiday nearly died out in England.

It was at about this time that Charles Dickens’ story came out. It was his commentary on the economic and cultural state of England at the time. There is a clear cut line between the “haves” and the “have nots”. In the world of Charles Dickens the ones that had all of their material desires lacked what Dickens believed truly mattered; love, joy and family.

This is the first Christmas for my adopted 11 year old daughter from China. To her it is a magical time. This winter she has played in the snow for the first time—making snow angels, building a snowman, and sliding down the hill. She was told about the Christmas tree and made sure we kept our promise to put it up right after Thanksgiving. We have now wrapped the Christmas presents for her and her 12 year old sister. She is amazed at how many things have her name on it. She asks what time she must be in bed before the real Santa Claus comes. The anticipation and excitement in an 11 year old experiencing Christmas for the first time is a joy to watch.

It saddens me that she and the other orphans in China do not know about Christmas. When my daughters went caroling with my oldest daughter, they had never heard the songs we all know by heart. The kids in the orphanage have no anticipation of a jolly old elf coming to bring them presents. Indeed, they have no anticipation of ever having anything. I watched on the news last night that Christmas services in Iraq were being cancelled because of terrorist attacks and threats. Christmas around the world is certainly different than here.

Even here Christmas has changed. England banned Christmas because it was too materialistic. In America we worship the materialism and many try to snuff the light of Christ out of Christ-mas. As an evangelical Christian I refuse to let that happen in my family. We will celebrate the only Son of God coming to earth as our Savior. Yet, as my daughter observed, there are many, many presents under our tree too.

So who defines Christmas? Everybody, and nobody. It will vary around the world and from person to person. It will be nonexistent in the Chinese orphanage, quietly celebrated behind closed doors in Iraq, and celebrated only because of Black Friday by many in America. But when it comes down to it, Dickens was right. It is all about love, joy, and family—God’s family and my family. God defined Christmas.

A Break My Heart Strategy

2010-11-06T07:48:00.002-04:00

I so appreciate Alan Hunt’s blog (http://alanh.typepad.com/religionpureandfaultless/2010/11/a-new-strategy.html) about Samuel and his “break my heart” strategy. Alan asks God to break his heart for every orphan child. My very first trip to visit the children was more than my heart could take.

I made my first trip to northwest China in 2005. During that trip my wife and I fell in love with two children. First for me was a young boy we call Jay who desperately needed a heart operation. Then there was Sara. Sara is a very caring girl in spite of being almost totally blind. Thankfully we were able to get Jay his heart operation. Sara was not such a good outcome. For over a year we dialogued with the Chinese government to make Sara available for us to adopt. The orphanage even processed some of the paperwork. But after many months the government abruptly changed their minds and changed the maybe to a quick no. It broke my heart. Sara ages out next month. I am so frightened for her.

My next trip to see the children was to central China after being refused permission to return to the northwest. From that stay I bonded with four 9 to 11 year old girls: Emma, Lila, Maria, and Jane. Since that trip I know that at least Emma was added to the waiting children list. As soon as I saw her picture I tried desperately to verify it was my Emma and to claim her for my own. Someone else had already chosen her. It broke my heart but Emma has a forever family now. That is what counts.

From visiting the children God did two big changes in my heart. First of all it put into me the desire to adopt myself. I have since adopted two older children from China, one 9 year old and one 11 year old at the time of their adoptions. I encourage people to just visit the children, but warn them that it could induce “heart disease” as it did with me.

The second change was the concept of my “Spiritual Children”. The six children above ARE my children. They never will be legally, but they are completely my children in heart and spirit. Their pictures are on my desk just like my 5 legal daughters. I pray for them just like my other children. I pray that each one of them will one day remember the time we spent together and ask the question “Why would that man come half way around the world just to be with me?” I pray that one seed will one day lead each one of them to Christ.

I am not fortunate enough to frequently visit the children. That is probably because I would not have room on my desk for the pictures of all the Spiritual Children I would adopt. But I encourage everyone to adopt orphan children—at least spiritually. It doesn’t cost any money, but the price is high: your heart.

For Him and His children.

The Case for Small Shops

2010-05-03T21:31:00.003-04:00

On my way to the Minneapolis airport the bus went by the Mall of America. Several of the people on the bus began to say “there it is” and other such comments of admiration and praise. God has blessed me beyond my wildest dreams and I enjoy those blessings every day. But I could not help but wonder why we give homage to such places. The term that came to my mind was “Monument to Materialism.”

In my trips to China I see Americans seeking out such monuments there as well. We shy away from the small shops that line almost every street. Without the demands of us westerners, would they even have their own MtM’s?

There is a lot to be said for the small shops. Instead of the impersonal nature of the MtM’s you get to interact with the owners of the shops. You go to your local shops and buy from your neighbors and friends. What’s wrong with that?

You might argue that those small shops don’t have the brand or color or flavor that I prefer. The MtM’s worship the idea of having everything “my way.” We have to have exactly our preference and will pay great prices to get it. We are all willing warriors in the Pepsi/Coca Cola wars. Is it really that important?

And of course we need the MtM’s because everything is in one place. It is convenient. I have the privilege of paying 3 times the normal price for that logo on the pocket.

Without MtM’s I would have to get exercise walking from shop to shop, buying only what I need from my neighbor, and drink water brand A instead of B. I can’t possibly go get my ‘daily bread” daily. What would I put in my huge closets, pantries, and fill my trash cans with each week?

So which is best? You be the judge. I’m probably wouldn’t side with the popular group, but that’s alright.

Silent Tears

2010-04-24T08:34:00.005-04:00

"Silent Tears" by Kay Bratt is not for the faint of heart.

If you do not have compassion for the fatherless, you will turn away in disgust. If you have love for the children, you will be convicted that you MUST do something for at least one child.

The caregivers need Christ too. Without the love of Christ in them they will not value the children. It is just a job.

"Silent Tears" shows so many of the dynamics of orphan ministry. First of all the needs of the children: love, medical attention, consistent foster homes, adoption. Second, the needs of the caregivers: Christ, help, the example of Christian volunteers, supplies. And the needs of the institutions: prayer for the directors, funding to provide additional caregivers and much needed physical things.

I have spent time in Chinese orphanages. The ones I have been in are more progressive and want to do their best for the children. But I can imagine how quickly those orphanages could become exactly what Kay Bratt descibes without that key director or without those of us trying to help.

Pray for the children, the caregivers, the directors, and the government officials. Pray for Christians to take the command to care for the fatherless seriously and help at least one such child.

Give Me Your Eyes

2010-02-25T05:49:00.001-05:00

As I look out the window of my 14th floor hotel room here in Guangzhou, I look out onto many apartment buildings. Some are old, dingy, 9-story buildings. Other more recent ones tower to 25 or 30 stories. The old ones all have plants on the balconies and on the roofs. The taller the building, the fewer the plants. The older buildings all have laundry hanging out. The 20-story apartment buildings have some. The tall ones have none. Whites and pinks are the colors of choice regardless.

From the spacing of the balconies all of the apartments are tiny by what I am used to. They would be astounded with the amount of space that my family and I take up. I would probably be embarrassed. But each apartment is a person, a couple, a family. Each apartment is someone’s home. Each apartment is the place of comfort each one returns to, no matter how humble.

Do the thousands of people hidden within have joy? I learned long ago that the size of home had nothing to do with being filled with joy. Do all of them count on luck or do any of them know Jesus? Is there a house church or two meeting within? I would love to meet with them, encourage them, worship with them.

As Brandon Heath would sing, “Give Me Your Eyes.”

A New Thanksgiving Tradition

2009-11-26T19:32:00.002-05:00

For 60 years I went to Grandma's house for Thanksgiving. It has been a rich tradition but the tradition has come to an end. I wrote about it two years ago: (http://orphanadvocatesblog.blogspot.com/2007/11/thanksgiving-at-grandmas-house.html)
Grandma's house is now empty. No more laughter, no more hugs, no more Grandma. This side of heaven all things must end.
As much as I miss the past we must move on to the future. So for us, my home is now Grandma's house. My wife fixed a tranditional Thanksgiving dinner. As many of the children and grandchildren that could come were here. We also invited two Chinese college students to come and share with us. It is now a generation later but the tradition goes on.
I guess that is what tradition is all about. We experience it. We enjoy it. We contribute to it. We pass it on. A tradition of thankfulness, a tradition of faith in Christ, a tradition of family.
Have a very Happy Thanksgiving!

Loving the Unloved

2009-10-11T09:44:00.002-04:00

I love to talk about the children (orphans) and the joy I have received from them. I love to brag about my adopted daughters and the joy I have received from them. I love to encourage others to love the children, if only for a little while. I get excited when someone will listen.

Though interested, most will not respond. Many give a response about how good of a heart I have, or what I am doing is such a wonderful thing. I understand their response and accept it gracefully.

But I wonder why loving the unloved seems to be so rare these days? Why is the love of God so absent from the hearts of men? Why do people view other's love for the unlovely as something unusual or to be commended?

Is it because "most people's love [has grown] cold"? Mt. 24:12

Orphan, the movie

2009-06-13T22:01:00.003-04:00

I just watched the trailer for the movie Orphan. As an orphan advocate I was curious as to what a movie by that name was about.

Finding that it is a horror movie and rated "R" was disappointing. But it was the story line and a statement made by the adopted child in the trailer that stopped me.

The movie makers turned the adoption of an older child into a horror story. As the adoptive father of a 9 year old girl in 16 months ago I will attest that it has been the exact opposite of a horror story. It has been a real love story. The movie makers don't understand the love part either.

In the trailer Esther, the orphan, makes the statement "It must be hard to love an adopted child as much as your own." WRONG! This is a myth that stops many potential parents, especially dads, from adopting.

I have three birth daughters. I love them more than I can possibly describe. You fathers know what I mean. We don't always show it like we should. Nonetheless, I love them very much.

I will also attest that I love my adopted daughters just as much! There is no difference.

Love is a gift from God. Love is a decision. When my wife became pregnant with each of my children I made the decision to love them, each of them, unconditionally, forever. When my wife and I decided to adopt I made the decision to love them, each of them, unconditional, forever. So, no Esther, it is not hard. It is not hard at all.

For a lot of reasons I won't be watching the move Orphan. Whether you do or not, don't believe the lies it presents. The adoption of an older child is a real blessing. And loving an adopted child is not hard at all. Not at all.

The Disquiet of Quiet

2009-06-07T17:01:00.002-04:00

Our adopted daughter, Alison, has been with us for 16 months now. After 15 years of "empty nest" we changed a lot to have a 10 year old girl in the home again. Disney Channel and dance classes. School drop-off and pickup. Soccer, gymnastics, and volleyball. Homework, dirty room, and bath time. And the biggest change of all has been the lack of quiet around the house.

Yesterday Alison left for New York with her oldest sister. This is the first time she will be away without her parents. She will not return until next weekend. I have a whole week of doing what I want to do for a change! No children's television programming. No rushing to daycare. No arguing over the undone chores. A whole week of peace and quiet!

Somehow my mind keeps going back to her. I wonder if she is safe. I wonder if she is handling the long drive OK. I worry about her already. I miss her already too. I miss her smile. I miss her wit and humor. I miss the too loud TV and yelling to turn it down. I miss the good night hug and "good night, I love you, see you tomorrow."

My thoughts turn to her new sister, Emma, who we haven't been able to retrieve from China yet. I wonder if she is safe. I wonder if she is healthy. I wonder if she is thinking about her parents to be as I am thinking about her. I have the advantage—I know who she is and have her picture. She hasn't been told who we are yet. I wonder what will go through her mind when she finds out. I wonder what is going through her mind as she waits.

It is warm and muggy outside, 81 degrees. I look online for the weather in Zhu Hai where Emma is. Eight-one and muggy. The same as it is here. Coincidence I know, but it seems to be just one more "red thread" that ties us together even while we are half a world apart.

Somehow that peace and quiet I was looking forward to seems to be disquieting. Come home safe and soon, Alison. Come home safe and soon, Emma. Home means family. Come home so my heart can have some peace and quiet.

He Died for MY Freedom

2009-05-25T19:18:00.001-04:00

This Memorial Day we stop to remember those who died for our freedom. We also pray for those who have and are defending our freedom but have not been called to pay that ultimate price.

I served in Vietnam. Not everyone with whom I served returned alive. I thank God my family did not have to face that grief. Many have. Don't just remember your buddy from the service, but also pray for the families who grieve the memory of their lost loved one this holiday.

Those I remember fought for my freedom. My freedom to post this blog. My freedom to worship God openly. My freedom to go where I want. My freedom to meet with anyone I wish. My freedom to enjoy the abundance with which I've been blessed. My freedom to . . . . . .

Yet there is one freedom none of these brave men and women can die for. Only One could do that. It is freedom from sin.

"It is for freedom that Christ has set us free." (Gal 5:1) It is the only freedom for which God would send His Son to die. It is the reason He came. Quoting Isaiah Jesus said "He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners." (Lk 4:18). "In Him and through faith in Him we may approach God with freedom and confidence." (Eph 3:12)

"So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed." (Jn 8:36)

“Boys have become something of a commodity.”

2009-04-19T11:14:00.001-04:00

NBC Nightly News on April 16 reported on “Buying Boys in China.” Families who are restricted to one child are so desperate to have a boy they are willing to buy one. “Boys have become something of a commodity” reports Brian Williams.

In my own travels to remote areas of China to visit orphans I have seen this for myself. People curious as to why we westerners would travel half way around the world to visit orphans would ask, “Why are you here? To buy children?”

As a Christian we are appalled by such questions. But without Christ, is this so amazing?

Many people in China have never heard of Christ. Their heritage and their culture do not value children. Such value of every individual is a Christian value. They value the orphan even less. We Christians seem to value orphans less too.

So in a society without Christ is it any wonder that children would become a commodity? Boys or girls? Even women? Is it any wonder children are abandoned and living on the streets, abducted, beaten, molested, cut to pieces by men dressed in white, men taking pictures of children, doing to them the unthinkable?

Those who asked me asked innocently as sheep without a shepherd. Such questions are open doors as to why I do orphan ministry. They are open doors to share a love that can only come from Jesus.

So when you see such reports on NBC, or read about them in the newspaper, do not condemn those responsible. Pray for them. Ask God how you can be a light into that dark world.

Ukrainian Starfish

2009-03-01T17:52:00.001-05:00

Today I attended the 2nd Annual Ukrainian Adoption Reunion in Indianapolis. There were dozens of children from a dozen or so Ukrainian orphanages who now have forever families.

Little Anya said I “have a family that loves me.”

An older girl, Tanya, told of her five years in the orphanage. She said she was afraid to think about the future for fear of what it might hold. But then “a miracle happened.” She also related how her first few weeks in school here in America were horrible and depressed. After she learned English things got better. She said her parents did not give up on her, and “Thanks for that!”

Parents also talked of how they are being blessed by their new families. Greg, who has adopted 9 children in two years, told the Ukraine judge that it was the love God put in his heart for the children that motivated him to adopt so many.

All you had to do was look across that assembly at the faces of the parents and children to know why we do orphan ministry. My heart soared as the children who have also been adopted into God’s eternal family raised their hands—including Annie of whom I wrote last weekend.

Precious were the tears of Lydia. Her heart for the children and the conduit of God’s love are responsible for the blessing to all these children and families. God has truly blessed you, Lydia.

Lydia asked for prayer for what we can all pray:
· For all the children already home,
· For all the families who are adjusting to their new lives,
· For all the children who will come to America this year,
· For the families who God will raise up to host and sponsor the children,
· For all the orphans around the world, and
· For all families God will touch for the cry of the orphans.

As the Story of the Starfish relates, every child matters.

First Fruit of my Orphan Ministry

2009-02-21T21:35:00.003-05:00

Tonight is a momentous night for me. Tonight is the first real adoption of my orphan ministry. This is what orphan ministry is all about.

I am totally thrilled when a couple decides to give the gift of adoption to a child. To see a child smile from the hug of love from their new parents warms me through. To see the sparkle in the eyes of a new forever mom is precious. Yes, to see the love exchanged in a new family is worth a million dollars.

But to paraphrase, what does it benefit an orphan to gain the whole world but loose their soul? Or what will an orphan give in exchange for their soul?

Three years ago I introduced P & S to a Ukraine orphan hosting program. Annie came and spent the summer with P & S. From that visit a new family was born. A few months later Annie returned to America to her forever family.

Each time I see Annie she gives me a hug. This child, who once had nothing, has love and the blessing of a family. Annie continues to blossom.

She has also grown in the knowledge and love of our Lord Jesus Christ.

So tonight Annie confessed Christ and was baptised into Him. Annie was adopted into God's eternal family. This is the adoption that really counts.

When I started Families for the Children I was convicted that every child deserves to be a member of 3 families:

A FOREVER FAMILY here on earth who will love them unconditionally.
A CHURCH FAMILY who will pray for and nurture them.
GOD'S FAMILY to the glory of Jesus Christ.

Tonight, Annie has all three families.
God is good.

What will a new year bring?

2009-01-03T16:10:00.009-05:00

The year 2008 was certainly a year of change in the Crooks household. We have watched all of the events and stresses going on in our nation and in the world, but those are not for what I will remember 2008. On the news they said how bad the year was and how most Americans are glad it is over. I guess that depends on how you measure bad. I will remember 2008 as a wonderful year!

On January 29 we welcomed our new daughter into our household. The girl we first met on that day and the girl we have at year end are universes apart. Alison has moved from a shy, withdrawn Chinese orphan to a vibrant, happy 10 year old American girl.

The parents that Alison first met on that day moved from the familiarities of empty-nesters and grandparents to the hustle and bustle of school activities and a young girl’s emergencies again.

Watching the Alison’s transition is a pleasure they really didn’t emphasize during the adoption process. They tell us about all of the potential problems and hazards, but they do an injustice by not telling us about all of the potential pleasures.

Unlike with the growing process of a newborn, all of the “firsts” come much more quickly with a 9 year old. The first airplane ride. The first horseback ride. The first birthday party just for her. The first Christmas. The first room all their own. The first time they voluntarily say “I love you.” Ahhhh.

So what about 2009? Only God knows. But with the blessings of 4 daughters and 11 grandchildren I am sure it will be memorable!

If Jesus Were a Football Star

2008-12-19T19:58:00.000-05:00

As I sat in church and looked around I saw blue and white jerseys everywhere. It looked similar to the “Blue Friday” at work where everyone wore the colors of our local pro football team. I understand it at work, but in church it struck me rather odd. Not that I have a problem with casual clothes in church, but why don’t we have lots of people wearing Jesus jerseys?

My mind didn’t stop there. It is kind of strange that way. I started trying to imagine what a proper “Jesus Jersey” should look like.

First of all, what should the colors be? Blue is my favorite color, but blue and white didn’t seem right. Neither did some of the other local combinations like black and gold, or cream and crimson. White should be one of the colors for Jesus’ purity. The Bible describes Him as dressed in white. But the other color? Red? Maybe. Revelation 19 says “He wore a robe dipped in blood.” I think the color should be “bright.” White and Bright. Bright as the “morning star”. Bright as one whose very presence lights our heavenly home. Yes, white and bright it is.

What number should be on the jersey? Jesus is number “1” without a doubt. He is number “2” also. And 3, and 4, and 5. Jesus is infinite. That’s it—infinity. The jersey should have “∞”.

And what about the logo? What symbol represents our Savior? The cross of course. But Jesus is so much more than just our Savior. He is also our Lord, Master, Comforter, and Protector. It would take a whole galaxy of Boy Scout badges to represent all He is to us. No logo seems to be adequate. Maybe it should just say Jesus.

Jesus. There’s just something about that name. Jesus. Maybe that is all that should be on the jersey. Jesus. No logos, no numbers, no chevrons, no nothing. Just Jesus.

Maybe that is why we wear football jerseys to work and church instead of "Jesus Jerseys". Our finite minds and physical clothing just can’t do justice to our Savior--Jesus.

Priceless . . .

2008-08-09T19:56:00.000-04:00

The whole idea of commercials on TV is to catch your attention so you will buy the product being promoted. One of those commercials that sticks in my mind goes through a list of items or services giving the cost. Then it comes to a final intangible with the cost of "Priceless".

I just passed the 6 month anniversary of being an adoptive dad. Our 10 year old China princess first stepped into our home on February 6. A lot has happened in her young life, and ours, in those few short months. She has gone from a timid, quiet girl to a happy, loving young lady. For the first few weeks she wouldn't talk at all. Now she laughs and talks, sings at the top of her voice, and yells "Hannah Montana!" Slowly she has gone from only knowing the institutional life of the orphanage to understanding in her heart the meaning of "Family".

And the cost? Quite high. The adoption process isn't cheap. Nor is the cost of buying all of the things a new daughter needs to fit in to her new society. It is all too easy for me to add up all of the costs and start grumbling about the expenses and the "unnecessary" purchases.

Last night my wife and I went separately to a local restaurant for dinner--she direct from work and I from picking up our daughter at day camp. When it was time to leave I went to pay the bill and my wife and daughter started to leave to go shopping. That seems to be the norm. I pay the bills and the women go shopping. That fits right into my male viewpoint.

But then my daughter came over to me and gave me a hug. No begging for it from me. No prompting from Mom. She just did it out of her own happiness. So what was the value of that little moment? Priceless!

HBO Documentary: China's Stolen Children

2008-07-19T19:54:00.000-04:00

There is a documentary on HBO right now about the stealing and selling of children in China. Everyone should watch it. But don't watch it to condem the people. Watch it to understand the culture and the motivations. Watch it to see what they need. Watch it to ask God what YOU should do.

It breaks my heart.

The stealing of children breaks my heart the most. SEVENTY THOUSAND a year! I can't imagine. The heartache. The pain. The fear in the children. The policeman who quit that job to become a full time searcher for the children is my hero. I pray that God will raise up others like him.

I also pray for the mothers and fathers that can find no other answer for the best interest of the child than to sell them. Extreme poverty. Fines that would starve the whole family. Laws that do not allow them to raise the children they obviously love.

The comments of the trafficer showed his need too. He stated that he knew there must be something wrong with selling children like property but he just couldn't figure out what it was. In his created being he knows it is wrong. I think he was searching for that reason and was hoping to find it to convince his conscious mind to quit. I know what he is looking for--Jesus.

I have been to China several times. The people are just like you and me. They are loving, kind, caring people. That is why I am glad God called me to do what I can for the innocent victims (the children) and to wrap that in an envelope of being a light for Christ to people who desperatly want to find what they are searching for.

Pray for all of them. Be sensitive to God's leading. Then follow that leading!

For Him and His children,Lynn

Atrocities Against the Children

2008-05-19T19:52:00.000-04:00

We all have heard the many news stories following the cyclone in Myanmar. The death toll continues to rise and the attitude of their government continues to make me cry in disbelief and sorrow. As horrible as all of this is, we aren’t hearing the real stories—stories of atrocities against the newly orphaned children.

The orphan has no one to protect them. Atrocities of forced prostitution, forced slavery, organ harvesting and other horrors are nothing new. Following the chaos of the cyclone I have heard reports that the traffickers are having a heyday. Kidneys and other organs are being taken at the cost of a child’s life. Pornography and the child sex trade is flooded with new victims. A child who is suddenly without parents, home and food quickly goes with the person who offers a bite of food or a place of shelter. Little do they know their innocence is soon gone forever.

PLEASE, don’t just shake your head in disgust. Support those who are making a difference TODAY. Several reputable organizations are trying to save the children. They are working to save them in the short term as well as to put together the infrastructure and people to care for the orphans long term.

Won’t you help? If you don’t know of an organization at the forefront may I recommend World Orphans (http://www.worldorphans.org/) and Asia Heartbeat (http://asiaheartbeat.org/).

A child’s very life may depend on what you do!

New Basis for Communication in Marriage – Blogging?

2008-02-17T19:49:00.000-05:00

All of the marriage preparation and marriage enrichment seminars I have ever heard of contain a major emphasis on how important communication between husband and wife is to a healthy marriage. I’m not saying that my wife (of almost 40 years) and I have the communication thing down, but we seem to do OK.

I am a morning person. My wife is a night person. I get up early and go to bed early. She is just the opposite. This has posed some challenges in our communication over the years. About the time she finally gets home for work, has unwound a while, and is ready to talk, well, I am almost asleep by then. It isn’t that I’m not interested in her work day or the details of what has happened with our 11 grandchildren. It’s just that my mind has started shutting down. Everyone knows that us guys only have a limited capacity for listening in a given day. So by the time my wife is ready to talk, I’m over capacity on listening. On the other hand, when I wake up at 5:30 a.m. I am ready to go, dialogue and really communicate with my wife. But she’s asleep!

Just recently we adopted a school age child from China. Part of the ritual of that process is to set up a travel blog site where you communicate to your family and friends everything that happens. My wife has been great at it. Each evening of our trip she faithfully detailed the events, dynamics, and emotions of bring our new daughter into our lives. When I add to the blog it is just the facts. That, too, is a guy thing. She goes into all of the details. Since returning home she has continued the blog. Not only does she include the developments of our new daughter but what happens with the rest of the family too.

In the evening I get the short version. I am brought up to speed on the things I missed while at work. To my male mind it seems pretty complete. So I go to bed satisfied that I have fulfilled my marital communication duty. After all, I’ve been married 40 years so I have to know how to do this communication thing.

The next morning I rise and shine. With my cup of coffee I log on to the computer to find out what has happened in the world. There I find that my wife added a whole new section to our blog the night before long after I started enjoying the sweet dreams of a dutiful husband. For some reason there were a lot more things that happened the day before that I must have forgotten somehow. I know many of the highlights but there are the details of so much more.

So it turns out that blogging may be one more successful tool for helping husbands and wives to bridge the communication gap. With the blog I can listen to the amount that my late-day mind can comprehend. Yet when my mind is fresh, and my wife is asleep, I get to enjoy all of the details I would have missed otherwise. It does bother me a little that the rest of the world knows as much about my family’s life as I do. But I guess no communication method is perfect.
Marriage enrichment seminars: don’t forget to promote blogging!

Alison, My Daughter

2008-02-09T19:45:00.000-05:00

I am now the proud father of my daughter, Alison.

The process has been two years long. There have been countless forms, questions, certifications, authentications, and yes, dollars. Is it worth it all? Absolutely!

When I look at my daughter I get the same feelings I have had three times in the past--each time I saw each of my other 3 daughters. I love her because I choose to love her. I love her because she is my daughter. I love her because she is God's gift to me.

We have been empty next for many years. Getting used to having a child in the home does take adjustment. Will I ever get to see an adult program on TV again? Will my dog ever like me best again?

Who knows. Who cares. I don't. I love my new daughter and her smile is all I need.

Yes, it is worth every dime, question, and minute of it all!

The Infamous Travel Authorization

2008-01-12T19:40:00.000-05:00

We finally have it--the infamous travel auth or TA. For adoption from China it is the final document that you need from them. The wording is direct but music to an adoptive parents' ears:

"In accordance with the Adoption Law of the People's Republic of China and the Convention on Protection of Children and Cooperation in Respect of Intercountry Adoption, we agree that the child Zhu Ai Zhen, who is in the care of ZhuhaiSWI Guangdong Province, be placed with you for adoption. Please travel in person with this notice to the adoption registry office within the Civil Affairs Department of Guangdong Province in China to proceed the registration formalities."

"We agree." Without agreement our wishes are futile.

"Be placed with you." We have held her tightly in our hearts for weeks. Now we will be able to hold her in our arms.

"Please travel in person." You couldn't keep me away! We always manipulate our lives so we won't miss work. But I have told my work that when they say "come" I am GONE! Nothing at work is as important as my being united with my daughter.

One short paragraph but words for which we have waited sooooo long. We leave in less than two weeks now. Alison, here we come!

Boundary Lines

2007-12-25T19:33:00.000-05:00

"The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance." Psalm 16:6

Christmas morning. I am blessed beyond belief. My wife of nearly 40 years and I have exchanged gifts. Neither of us needs anything yet we give to say "I love you." Our three grown children and their families have surely opened their presents by now. We were all together on Sunday for the family Christmas. The excitement and fun of our eleven grandchildren is all the gift I need. I also have the gift of the knowledge that my new daughter is waiting in China for me to come and get her soon.

The children. So many children. Millions of children that won't have a Merry Christmas. Millions of children whose only gift on this Christmas morning is another hunger pang. Millions of orphan children who don't know the love of a family--a father and mother to hug them and kiss them and to give them presents. Millions of children who have never been told about Jesus.

Indeed, the boundary lines for me have definitely fallen in pleasant places. "Why me?" I ask the Lord. Why have I been blessed so abundantly and millions of others have not?

I can only be humbled, give thanks, and do what I can to be a blessing to the others. I don't know why God sent his Son to save me, but He did and I am thankful. I don't know why God has given me a wonderful family and comfortable life, but He did and I am thankful.

On this Christmas morning my heart turns to those millions of kids. I can be a gift to at least one of them. Can't you?

The Wait to get our Alison

2007-12-15T19:26:00.000-05:00

It is a journey we started almost 2 years ago. We have had many hopes, dreams, disappointments, and tears. But God has the daughter He wants for us. In His time we now approach our dream of going to get her.

Meet Alison AiZhen. She is my new daughter.

We have received our letter of approval and are preparing for the travel. Once again we wait. My desire would be to get on the next avaialble plane and go get her! But again we wait. The proverb says that good things are worth waiting for. If that is the measure then this is VERY GOOD!
My wife described our journey to adopt very well on another group. She says it well:

"We are a bit atypical in our quest to adopt. We are parents of 3 grown daughters and grandparents to 11 children. In 2000 we traveled to China for 3 weeks on vacation. In 2005 I heard A Helping Hand Adoption Agency present in a seminar the plight of orphans in China. They do outreach as well as adoption. I was convienced we would adopt but my husband only wanted to go work in China.

"In 2005, we traveled to China on a Friendship team to China and spent one week with 18 orphans in northwest China. That orphanage houses around 80 total children inhouse or in foster homes. Upon return of that trip we decided to try to adopt one special girl we met there. After a year of trying, we were told the orphanage was no longer working on promoting our adoption. Our dossier was submitted and logged and we did not act on it.

"In 2007 we traveled on another Friendship team this time to centralChina. There were 700 children in this orphanage and it was a most amazing trip. We spent a week with schoolage, pre-school, toddlers, infants and handicapped children. Every morning was with the school age kids and every afternoon we switched to a younger group. Our hearts were broken with the wonderful children we met and wished we could bring so many of them home. At that time, we decided to accept another child and not wait on trying to adopt a child we had met.

"When Alison was added to the special needs list, we sent our Letter of Intent for her (October). We received the LOA in exactly 8 weeks from the time it left our hands to the return. We feel this is a God thing. Our hearts are open. We have reached the maximum age now, so Alison will be our only adopted child. She is 27 years younger than her next older sister. She has 2 older nephews and one older neice. The rest of the 8 will be younger than she is. We live close to our grandchildren so we will be quite the unusual family on many fronts.

"We love the time we have spent in China and will probably travel many more times to work in an orphanage somewhere. I urge each of you to promote the outreach in China that touches your heart. During our lasttrip we went to one of the clinics sponsered by outsiders Hope Foster Home. They are saving many infants at risk for survival. They have the fifth floor of the orphanage and they are changing the stereotypes of how to care for infants."

The wait continues, but it's worth it!

Thanksgiving at Grandma's House

2007-11-23T19:24:00.000-05:00

Yesterday made 59 years. When someone asks me what I am doing for Thanksgiving the answer is always easy. I'm going to Grandma's house! Except for 1 year when I was overseas serving my country, I have always gone to grandma's house on Thanksgiving Day.

Grandma's house was built the same year I was born--1948. It was built by my Grandfather where the old house once stood. I lived with my Dad in the next house down the road in this community of small, family farms. Growing up I spent a lot of time with Grandma in Grandma's house. It was a happy place for me to be.

Grandma had eleven children, ten of them boys. This was great for spreading out all of the work on the family farm. For my Aunt Sylvia and Grandma, it was a lot of cooking for those hungry boys. Maybe that is why they are both such great cooks!

Every Thanksgiving the family would gather at Grandma's house. What a feast! Everyone would pitch in the side dishes, salads, and deserts. Grandma always cooked the turkey, homemade mashed potatoes and noodles, and the oyster dressing.

Grandma has long since gone to be with the Lord. Aunt Sylvia now lives in Grandma’s house. She is 89 but still insists on having Thanksgiving at Grandma’s house. So I happily and proudly still spend every Thanksgiving at Grandma’s house!

I have been richly blessed with such a family and such a tradition. This is a blessing the orphan can never know. Every time I think of how God has blessed me I can’t help but think about passing on blessings to the orphans. They won’t know about spending Thanksgiving at Grandma’s house, but surely we can help just one to know the blessing of a forever family Thanksgiving in OUR home.

My Visit to the "White House"

2007-11-18T19:21:00.000-05:00

In 2005 I had the honor and privilege to visit the "White House". We were treated like royalty. The staff lined up on either side of the entrance when we arrived. Photographers were taking our pictures. The Chief of Staff greeted us warmly. As anyone would be, we were surprised, awe struck, and delighted in the attention we were suddenly given. Food was provided in abundance as if there were no limits to its source. Smiles were everywhere.

But this White House did not house the leader of the free world. No, this White House housed 100 children of The King. This White House is located in the distant regions of the Xinjiang Region of China. And except for The King, no one paid much attention to these children. They are all orphans.

I was there for only a week but I fell in love with many of them. Sara is almost blind but I would adopt her in a second if only I could. Jay’s chest “felt like a washing machine ready to explode.” Who would care enough that he could have the heart surgery he desperately needed? He has no father or mother to care. After all, he is only a nameless statistic in distant China. Lily has the sweetest face and the saddest smile. She knew that the sincere love we lavished on her would soon leave again.

In that White House there is never a party or gala reception. In that White House sadness and hopelessness seem to reign. These children didn’t even know they are children of the King! That is why we were there. To show them the King’s love, if only for a few precious hours.

I was denied permission to return. But my prayers are still with those children. My prayer is that one day at least one of those children will ask why complete strangers would travel half way around the world just to play with them for a few days. I pray that one day they will come to know the King. I pray that one day their White House will pale in comparison to the mansion prepared for the very least of them by the King himself!

It's About the Children!

2007-11-05T19:13:00.000-05:00

Since God hasn't (yet) called me to full time orphan work I still have a day job to pay the bills. As such I ocassionally have the occasion to network with a lot of people at meetings and conferences. You can't be around me long before I will find a way to turn the conversation to the orphans.

There are many reactions. A few have adopted or are closely touched by adoption. Most are Christian. Immediately there is a double bond there. That is special.

Most show polite curiosity and ask a few questions. I usually don't try to get people to act based on an initial contact. I just want them to know there are millions of children out there who need a family!

Usually the conviction will come quickly and people will get uncomfortable. They have a flashing thought that maybe they should do something. Then quickly follows the deflection where they will change the focus to me. They say how special I am or what I am doing. They say it is really great.

I struggle when this happens. There is nothing special about me or what I am doing. What is special is the children! When I visit them or look at pictures of them my heart just breaks. How can I NOT do something. As a Christian I know most will be eternally lost. As a father I cry that they don't know the basic love I give my own children. As a person I know that they have no hope in this life either.

Christian. Father. Person. All of me says IT'S ABOUT THE CHILDREN!!!

Everyone wants to keep the children out of sight and out of mind. The invisible and forgotten. I'm not sorry. I hope I will make you uncomfortable. Not for you to say something about what I'm doing. IT'S ABOUT THE CHILDREN!

Why Orphan Advocate?

2007-09-30T19:04:00.000-04:00

It is Sunday morning and I am sitting in my comfortable chair, in my comfortable home, with my comfortable family. It is so easy to sit hear and just enjoy the life God has given me. But there are millions of orphans in the world who couldn't even image the luxury we enjoy in the US.

Across the room in an electronic picture frame flashes pictures of Chinese orphans. These are all pictures I took during my most recent visit to the children. These children, and millions like them, have nothing.

Beautiful Emma is 12 years old and has lived in the orphange her entire life. She is smart. She is caring. She is very lovable. I would have gladly brought her back with me if I only could. Yet she remains with only a brief memory of the love we tried to show her.

By Chinese standards Emma has it pretty good--for institutional living. She has lived her entire 12 years in the orphanage. But she doesn't know what it means to be loved by a mom and a dad who will be there for her every day. She won't know how to put together a family of her own because she has never seen one. Worse yet, she doesn't current have any hope for an eternal home.

Emma is one of the "lucky ones." She is in an orphanage. She is in an orphange where the director tries hard to do his best for the children and there are international organizations helping out. Most orphanages don't have that. Most of the estimated 80 million orphans of China are on the streets or barely surviving in an institution.

The best solution would be for you to adopt one of them. You can teach them the love of a family and the love of Jesus.

Many of you can go visit the children and love on them for just a few days. It is unbelievable how many of them will respond to just a little bit of attention. I warn you, if you go you may very well want to reconsider the adoption decison.

All of you can help. You can provide money to support a child and organizations that are trying to provide many forms of care for the children. Choose the organizations you support carefully. You can help someone you know financially to adopt one of these children.

Maybe you can be a foster parent to some of the children right in your own area.
There are so many children who have no way to help themselves. Won't you help?